Good example of creating a safety plan with parents using an outcomes approach (English subtitles)
Good example of creating a safety plan with parents using an outcomes approach in social care
So as I said earlier, with this safety plan, we're going to sit down together like we are now
and we're going to look at what's happening when things aren't going so well at home,
and what's happening when things are going well at home.
And how we're going to have more good situations and less challenging periods, okay?
First we'll look specifically at your relationship with Llyr,
and also the arguments that happen between you and Peter.
What can we do to reduce the risk of you arguing, and we'll also think about whether you have friends or family
who could help you during these difficult times. Does that sound okay? Yes.
So you noted that the arguing between yourself and Peter worried you
and that you also worried about money being short.
We're also worried about the fact that you didn't
know where Megan or Llyr were when the argument was happening, so I would like to add into
the plan that if something were to happen again, the children would be safe and we know
where they would go. Okay? Yes. Oh and remember that this is a flexible plan, we can change it so if you feel that
things aren't working we can take a second look and go back and reevaluate and try new things.
Let's think about the times when you and Peter argue, what happens?
We shout at each other, the two of us say things, just like any argument.
At times when you and Peter have argued, what's worked then, what's worked before?
Well he goes out and then I calm myself down.
So time apart is what helps you both to calm down?
Yes, but then he goes for a pint and he gets drunk and sometimes he can't go to work the
next day, so its a never-ending cycle.
Is there anywhere else he could go? Someone he could talk with?
No I can't think of anyone, you'd have to ask him.
Yes I'll come back tonight if that's okay, to chat with Peter.
It's important that you and I chat but we need to get his point of view too.
So you feel as though you're going round in circles,
at those times when you're both upset, do you think he understands how you feel?
No, no he doesn't.
May I suggest
that you have time apart in different rooms in the house,
and that you write down your feelings, at the time when you're wound up, you write
down what you're each feeling at that time. Then afterwards when you've calmed down, you
come back together and discuss your feelings with each other.
Do you think he would be more willing to listen to your side of things then?
What, if I wrote everything down?
Yes, do you think that could help?
Well the hope is that if it works, there will be
less arguing and the arguments won't last as long or they won't happen as often.
You may also start to understand each other a bit better.
So you said family time is important to you,
could you talk a bit more about your relationship with Llyr?
Well I just don't think that Llyr understands that we don't have money to go out and buy
new trainers like his friends have, you know? Once he wanted these football boots and they
were too expensive, but he couldn't understand that and he was asking why.
So when he gets his own way, he does stop arguing.
Can you think of something else that's helped in those situations?
No nothing's helped, no.
What if I speak with Llyr too when I come back tonight?
We can think about how you can improve your relationship, and discuss that when he
does go out it worries you and maybe it would be a good idea for him to let you know where
he's going and who he's with. If he does let you know when he'll be home, or you tell him
what time to be back by, would that help?
Oh yes. But I'd prefer if he didn't go out with that gang at all, all they do is cause trouble.
It sounds very difficult, and I understand
that you want to do your best for your son, but on the other hand it is difficult for
Llyr too as he just wants to be with his friends. Let's discuss this tonight with Llyr too,
so that he's a part of creating the plan, usually the plan is more effective if the
child is part of the discussion and planning.
As far as Llyr and Pete, I would really like
it if Pete spent more time with Llyr. Maybe he could take him to football practice or
something, he needs more attention from his dad. But that's just something else I can't
get Pete to understand.
So there are times when the relationship between you and Llyr
has been good. From what I understand he would be less likely to go out with his friends
if he went to football practice with Peter. Maybe we could discuss times when he and Peter
should spend time together, a special time.
Yeah great if Pete sticks to it, it could work I think.
Okay so we should put that in the plan tonight. We can discuss all this
in more detail with Llyr and Peter tonight.
Yes and maybe they'll listen if you're telling them.
The other thing we talked about was the fact that Megan left the house without
asking, so if that happens again or she just needs some time alone, where could she go,
apart from John's house, because we know that he is a sex offender.
Nain Keri's house.
That's your mum yes?
And how would she get there?
Well she could just walk there, they don't live far.
Mum could call me then to say that she's arrived.
Great idea, I'll put that on the plan.
So Megan will go to Nain Keri's house and Nain Keri will phone you when she's arrived.
We can discuss and plan the rest of the plan together tonight, when I'm back.
I'll leave this copy with you, and this is a plan to keep everyone safe, it's not something
that's being forced upon you, okay? Fine. When I'm back later I'll discuss with you
and Peter and Llyr, and we're going to co-produce this plan and I can come back next week and
we can discuss how it's going and if you have new ideas that could help, we can talk about
those too. So like having a family meeting? Yes. I'll write this up for you now, and I'll
bring a copy tonight, and then we can continue when I come back.
Thank you very much for working with me today, see you tonight.