00:00
So as I said earlier, with this safety plan, we're going to sit down together like we are now
00:08
and we're going to look at what's happening when things aren't going so well at home,
00:12
and what's happening when things are going well at home.
00:16
And how we're going to have more good situations and less challenging periods, okay?
00:23
First we'll look specifically at your relationship with Llyr,
00:27
and also the arguments that happen between you and Peter.
00:34
What can we do to reduce the risk of you arguing, and we'll also think about whether you have friends or family
00:42
who could help you during these difficult times. Does that sound okay? Yes.
00:48
So you noted that the arguing between yourself and Peter worried you
00:55
and that you also worried about money being short.
01:00
We're also worried about the fact that you didn't
01:04
know where Megan or Llyr were when the argument was happening, so I would like to add into
01:10
the plan that if something were to happen again, the children would be safe and we know
01:17
where they would go. Okay? Yes. Oh and remember that this is a flexible plan, we can change it so if you feel that
01:24
things aren't working we can take a second look and go back and reevaluate and try new things.
01:32
Let's think about the times when you and Peter argue, what happens?
01:41
We shout at each other, the two of us say things, just like any argument.
01:49
At times when you and Peter have argued, what's worked then, what's worked before?
01:55
Well he goes out and then I calm myself down.
02:02
So time apart is what helps you both to calm down?
02:07
Yes, but then he goes for a pint and he gets drunk and sometimes he can't go to work the
02:14
next day, so its a never-ending cycle.
02:17
Is there anywhere else he could go? Someone he could talk with?
02:23
No I can't think of anyone, you'd have to ask him.
02:29
Yes I'll come back tonight if that's okay, to chat with Peter.
02:32
It's important that you and I chat but we need to get his point of view too.
02:40
Yes fine.
02:42
So you feel as though you're going round in circles,
02:47
at those times when you're both upset, do you think he understands how you feel?
02:57
No, no he doesn't.
02:59
May I suggest
03:01
that you have time apart in different rooms in the house,
03:06
and that you write down your feelings, at the time when you're wound up, you write
03:13
down what you're each feeling at that time. Then afterwards when you've calmed down, you
03:19
come back together and discuss your feelings with each other.
03:22
Do you think he would be more willing to listen to your side of things then?
03:30
What, if I wrote everything down?
03:33
Yes, do you think that could help?
03:35
Maybe.
03:37
Well the hope is that if it works, there will be
03:41
less arguing and the arguments won't last as long or they won't happen as often.
03:46
You may also start to understand each other a bit better.
03:53
Yes, hopefully.
03:54
So you said family time is important to you,
03:59
could you talk a bit more about your relationship with Llyr?
04:04
Well I just don't think that Llyr understands that we don't have money to go out and buy
04:09
new trainers like his friends have, you know? Once he wanted these football boots and they
04:16
were too expensive, but he couldn't understand that and he was asking why.
04:20
So when he gets his own way, he does stop arguing.
04:27
Can you think of something else that's helped in those situations?
04:33
No nothing's helped, no.
04:37
What if I speak with Llyr too when I come back tonight?
04:42
We can think about how you can improve your relationship, and discuss that when he
04:48
does go out it worries you and maybe it would be a good idea for him to let you know where
04:57
he's going and who he's with. If he does let you know when he'll be home, or you tell him
05:06
what time to be back by, would that help?
05:09
Oh yes. But I'd prefer if he didn't go out with that gang at all, all they do is cause trouble.
05:16
It sounds very difficult, and I understand
05:21
that you want to do your best for your son, but on the other hand it is difficult for
05:28
Llyr too as he just wants to be with his friends. Let's discuss this tonight with Llyr too,
05:35
so that he's a part of creating the plan, usually the plan is more effective if the
05:40
child is part of the discussion and planning.
05:47
As far as Llyr and Pete, I would really like
05:52
it if Pete spent more time with Llyr. Maybe he could take him to football practice or
05:58
something, he needs more attention from his dad. But that's just something else I can't
06:05
get Pete to understand.
06:07
So there are times when the relationship between you and Llyr
06:11
has been good. From what I understand he would be less likely to go out with his friends
06:19
if he went to football practice with Peter. Maybe we could discuss times when he and Peter
06:25
should spend time together, a special time.
06:32
Yeah great if Pete sticks to it, it could work I think.
06:38
Okay so we should put that in the plan tonight. We can discuss all this
06:43
in more detail with Llyr and Peter tonight.
06:45
Yes and maybe they'll listen if you're telling them.
06:49
The other thing we talked about was the fact that Megan left the house without
06:56
asking, so if that happens again or she just needs some time alone, where could she go,
07:08
apart from John's house, because we know that he is a sex offender.
07:11
Nain Keri's house.
07:14
That's your mum yes?
07:16
Yes.
07:17
And how would she get there?
07:19
Well she could just walk there, they don't live far.
07:22
Mum could call me then to say that she's arrived.
07:24
Great idea, I'll put that on the plan.
07:27
So Megan will go to Nain Keri's house and Nain Keri will phone you when she's arrived.
07:33
We can discuss and plan the rest of the plan together tonight, when I'm back.
07:39
I'll leave this copy with you, and this is a plan to keep everyone safe, it's not something
07:46
that's being forced upon you, okay? Fine. When I'm back later I'll discuss with you
07:51
and Peter and Llyr, and we're going to co-produce this plan and I can come back next week and
07:59
we can discuss how it's going and if you have new ideas that could help, we can talk about
08:04
those too. So like having a family meeting? Yes. I'll write this up for you now, and I'll
08:12
bring a copy tonight, and then we can continue when I come back.
08:19
Fine.
08:21
Thank you very much for working with me today, see you tonight.