JOSEPH:
[00:00:13] It’s interesting that when you see people drained when they’re working with people with dementia,
[00:00:20] it’s usually because they’re working with the same person constantly, over and over and over and over and over.
[00:00:25] So the repetitive nature of the conversations you have with people with dementia, that starts to get really difficult for people, and it’s just trying to understand that that’s just the nature of that person.
[00:00:41] You can’t get frustrated with somebody who’s just constantly repeating themselves.
[00:00:47] And that’s probably the biggest thing that you’ll notice with people, they get frustrated with somebody with dementia because they’ve heard the same sentence, or the same question thirty times in the last hour, and that’s the thing that really gets people.
[00:01:00] The trick is to just step back from that and just realise that it’s okay.
[00:01:06] They will forget that they’ve asked the question twenty/thirty times, but you have to make sure you answer it as if it’s the first time.
[00:01:17] It’s hard but you, and it takes practice, but it’s a really important thing for them.
[00:01:25] I think the sense of respect that they feel coming from you isn’t forgotten.
[00:01:33] So the content of what you’ve spoken about is lost but they’ll realise that you’re somebody that they can talk to, you’re somebody that they can trust.
[00:01:43] They just don’t know what’s happening so it’s just making sure that they understand that you’re going to look after them.
[00:01:50] Because they don’t get told that very often, “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you, it’s okay”,
[00:01:56] and that’s a big thing for them, you know, they’re just looking for reassurance a lot of the time.
[00:02:03] And I get asked “Will you look after me? Will you protect me?” “Yes, that’s okay, that’s my job. I’m here, I’ll look after you, don’t worry now. I’ll make sure everything’s okay”.
[00:02:14] Even if you suspect that they’re completely unaware of what you’re saying, there is the chance that they are aware.
[00:02:23] So you’ve just got to keep going as if they understand every single thing, and just making sure “Yeah, yeah, yeah”.
[00:02:31] Touch, very important, and just explaining exactly what’s happening.
[00:02:37] Because even if they might not be able to communicate to you, they’re still experiencing certain sensations, and if you can just get through to them just “It’s okay, we’ll look after you”, that can be enough.
[00:02:50] One of the biggest don’ts is to become frustrated with them, you can’t, you just can’t do it.
[00:03:00] They pick up that you’re frustrated, they know you’re frustrated.
[00:03:06] They might not be able to communicate that, they might not be able to process it properly, but they know that there’s something uncomfortable.
[00:03:15] And even if they forget the content of conversations you’ve already had, like I said, they tend to retain those sorts of, that feel of how things are.
[00:03:26] So they won’t trust you and the moment they start to build up an air of mistrust with you, trying to get that back then is just…
[00:03:35] So it’s really important to just let them understand that it’s okay, you know, just be relaxed with them and just listen to them.
[00:03:45] They’ll say things that are completely incorrect and that’s okay, it’s their world, and just go along with them.
[00:03:53] Just listen to them, ask them questions about anything.
[00:03:59] They might talk about something that happened in their childhood and just ask them, “Oh”, and just see if you can get them to elaborate more on that particular event.
[00:04:10] Painful events, it’s obviously try not to get them to elaborate too much on it,
[00:04:16] because that event to them may have only happened yesterday, so it may be still quite, still feel really quite raw for them,
[00:04:24] whereas with happy events, again it might feel like it only happened yesterday, so getting them to elaborate on them can really change their mood.