00:00
I was mortified
00:02
I'm gonna lose my kids
00:05
People telling me, You're not good enough
00:08
You haven't got the family support behind you
00:10
and they are going to take your kids away
00:12
because you're on your own
00:16
So I was initially worried
00:19
I was reluctant to listen
00:22
Because I had those dark voices in my head
00:24
I would lose my kids
00:26
My ex...he would destroy everything
00:29
I struggled, I was in a really low income
00:33
My son's attendance was 63%
00:35
It was terrible
00:36
He was late all the time
00:38
It wasn't he didn't like school because he loved school.
00:41
Because he was in that habit of
00:42
pick and choosing
00:45
Because
00:46
there was a lack of encouragement to make him want to go
00:50
there was a lot of fighting with him then
00:54
Due to lack of order and discipline,
00:57
Everything was chaos in his life
1:00
At the time
1: 2
I'll be honest, I think I was a selfish person
01:04
It was all me, me, me
01:07
Not realizing that it was the children
01:10
All I wanted to do was escape
01:13
I wanted to escape the life I was in
01:16
I was watching my children suffer
01:19
My kids, they deserved better
01:23
They deserved more than me
01:26
I thought I couldn't give them what they want
01:30
Love of family
01:32
So at the time, it was me, it was me
01:35
When Tina came over,
01:37
he asked me what you really want
01:39
what are the outcomes you want for yourself
01:42
It really made me realize,
01:44
I didn't want my kids to be in the position they were in
01:46
I didn't want to be in the position I was in
01:48
I was looking at my children
1:51
and I could see my childhood in them
01:53
They were isolated, unsure
1:57
They were not beaten,
2:00
They were mentally beaten,
2: 3
They could not speak out
02:05
I was that scared little scary girl
2: 9
where I could not speak as a child
02:11
That realization ...
02:14
I did not want my children to be mentally destroyed
02:17
They need a full week at school
02:20
But also that one-on-one with their parents
02:23
That's what school did for me
02:26
They opened that door
02:29
About that one-to-one service with my son, so I can understand it,
02:33
Seeing through a child's eyes
02:35
See it through his own eyes
02:37
In the one to one sessions
02:40
They taught me how to talk to my son
02:45
And get him to open up
02:47
Schools should be able to do that
02:50
Coad Frank acknowledged that
02:53
children need to work with peers and parents
2:59 pm
Basically, what I think is
3: 2
If everyone who is at a Conference meeting
03:07
ready to listen to each other
03:10
... and listening to the parents
03:13
they can understand the distress for the parents
03:18
Because you all understood me
03:21
because you took the time to listen and look
03:26
Anyone can bark orders at you
03:29
You can be a robot all your life
03:32
But it does not fill that darkness and emptiness inside you,
03:36
Until someone asks you
03:39
What do you want for your future,
03:41
for the future of your children
03:44
You step out of that phase of being a robot
03:47
You become a person
03:50
You are recognized as a human being not a robot
03:55
When you are recognized as a person
04:01
Things are getting a little brighter
04:05
Because I'm not an invisible shadow
04:10
I'm not a door mat
04:13
I'm a person
04:14
I have a voice and an opinion
04:17
and someone is interested in my opinion
04:22
that brightens my day
04:24
It's everything ...
04:26
The way they eat is different,
04:29
My son wouldn't eat any fruit or vegetables,
04:34
He eats every vegetable that is put before him now
04:37
He used to have night terrors,
04:39
45 minutes screaming and crying
04:43
Fits in her sleep
04:46
Wetting himself,
04:49
He has not done so for over a year
4:54 pm
I forgot what it was like to have my son in complete fear,
4:58 pm
the thought of it scares me now
05:06
But it doesn't do that anymore
05:10
He is polite,
05:13
He is kind and caring to his sister
05:15
My daughter,
05:17
she's very peculiar, she has character, she has charisma,
05:24
They both are eager to learn
05:26
they are not afraid,
05:29
they are very confident children now
05:32
I could not have done it alone.